Yeah I know it's a holiday that is more of a self-appreciative self-centered yatta yatta made a thing that fell apart whatever it's still a day to me
Anyway, as per request, I'll tell you how double speech Tuesday went. The first speech was designed with a fully fleshed out intro and outro, with a thin middle left for me to ad lib. I choked on the intro, having a solid 5 second pause as my brain crashed. The middle I got lost in my ad lib and fumbled my words. My outro was a saving grace, but since the past 2/3 had fallen flat, doubtfully saved the mark. Luckily it is not one of the two major speeches, however I'm certain my mark will take a critical hit.
The second speech luckily, went a bit more smoothly. Nerves fried by then, I was able to make eye contact and my fully-fleshed scripts went without a hitch. The presentation itself was a bit messy due to powerpoint's own features not working (woo), ended up having to use my phone's timer to time the slides manually. But it seemed to at least go well, the mark will show reality soon enough.
Because of the immense stressing both before and the day of (I tried to not stress but its hard to get your mind to not focus on the one thing thats causing you ailment.) my shoulder, neck, and back all got kinda screwed up. They're already touchy thanks to the accident in September, but now I'm still healing from an annoying rippling pain throughout the region. (advils and massage tools have been used, but air pressure changes and stress have done a number. I'll live though dont worry)
As for the tetralemma, at this point it's still a 'I'm nuts lets do this'. If a mark comes in the next two days crashing a course, I may act fast and make a post, but else, there's the resolution: I do the MANLY MAN THING AND JUST DEAL WITH IT.
Btw i hate that mentality
ok cya next post
Anyway, as per request, I'll tell you how double speech Tuesday went. The first speech was designed with a fully fleshed out intro and outro, with a thin middle left for me to ad lib. I choked on the intro, having a solid 5 second pause as my brain crashed. The middle I got lost in my ad lib and fumbled my words. My outro was a saving grace, but since the past 2/3 had fallen flat, doubtfully saved the mark. Luckily it is not one of the two major speeches, however I'm certain my mark will take a critical hit.
The second speech luckily, went a bit more smoothly. Nerves fried by then, I was able to make eye contact and my fully-fleshed scripts went without a hitch. The presentation itself was a bit messy due to powerpoint's own features not working (woo), ended up having to use my phone's timer to time the slides manually. But it seemed to at least go well, the mark will show reality soon enough.
Because of the immense stressing both before and the day of (I tried to not stress but its hard to get your mind to not focus on the one thing thats causing you ailment.) my shoulder, neck, and back all got kinda screwed up. They're already touchy thanks to the accident in September, but now I'm still healing from an annoying rippling pain throughout the region. (advils and massage tools have been used, but air pressure changes and stress have done a number. I'll live though dont worry)
As for the tetralemma, at this point it's still a 'I'm nuts lets do this'. If a mark comes in the next two days crashing a course, I may act fast and make a post, but else, there's the resolution: I do the MANLY MAN THING AND JUST DEAL WITH IT.
Btw i hate that mentality
ok cya next post
you should look into a stress management course.
ReplyDeleteyou're probably right.
DeleteI do have PTE, comic-drawing and youtube as outlets. I just get more stress than my outlets can handle.
Also time constraints. I'm always busy. It's not so good :/
atleast you tried
ReplyDeleterip in pieces me
Delete