So I had a seizure today.
To start this story: I have bad hemophobia. I've been trying to fight it and fix it since I figured out it existed. Over the past few years, I've passed out from blood tests. The last one I had, I did not pass out. My optimism became high.
Enter today: The class was about logic and reasoning in essays. I was put in the 'blood donation' group. I was aware that it was touchy subject for me, but with my optimism, I figured it would be okay.
Frankly, it started out perfectly fine. We discussed why people would fear it, how nurses are there on site, how to counter it, etc. Then the discussion focussed on actual experiences with donating blood.
My hemophobia works like this: My mind gets a mental image. Then for whatever god-awful reason, my empathy receptors kick in. So when you say 'The needle dangled from my arm and blood dripped out'
That is now happening to me, and I'm sweating. Even writing that has me flustered, so I can't re-read this section.
And thats how the situation started. My mind went into overdrive, and apparently what happened is my mind went defensive. Brain signals went overload, and a certain nerve KO-ed me. Now that alone wasn't new, since that's what happened in past blood tests.
The difference is, I layed on my desk when I passed out. I woke up on the floor.
I'm not sure when it occurred, but sometime after knocking out, I smashed my head. That lead to the seizure, as the smash caused a lack of oxygen.
This all happened in about 15 seconds, and then I left class via ambulance.
I make this post both as an update, as an awareness about phobias and head injuries, and to let all know I'm okay. My head hurts, but after what transpired, that's to be expected.
Not Dead Yet Episode VI
Not Dead Yet Episode V
Not Dead Yet Episode IV
Not Dead Yet Episode III
Not Dead Yet Episode II
Not Dead Yet Episode I
Health is hard.
To start this story: I have bad hemophobia. I've been trying to fight it and fix it since I figured out it existed. Over the past few years, I've passed out from blood tests. The last one I had, I did not pass out. My optimism became high.
Enter today: The class was about logic and reasoning in essays. I was put in the 'blood donation' group. I was aware that it was touchy subject for me, but with my optimism, I figured it would be okay.
Frankly, it started out perfectly fine. We discussed why people would fear it, how nurses are there on site, how to counter it, etc. Then the discussion focussed on actual experiences with donating blood.
My hemophobia works like this: My mind gets a mental image. Then for whatever god-awful reason, my empathy receptors kick in. So when you say 'The needle dangled from my arm and blood dripped out'
That is now happening to me, and I'm sweating. Even writing that has me flustered, so I can't re-read this section.
And thats how the situation started. My mind went into overdrive, and apparently what happened is my mind went defensive. Brain signals went overload, and a certain nerve KO-ed me. Now that alone wasn't new, since that's what happened in past blood tests.
The difference is, I layed on my desk when I passed out. I woke up on the floor.
I'm not sure when it occurred, but sometime after knocking out, I smashed my head. That lead to the seizure, as the smash caused a lack of oxygen.
This all happened in about 15 seconds, and then I left class via ambulance.
I make this post both as an update, as an awareness about phobias and head injuries, and to let all know I'm okay. My head hurts, but after what transpired, that's to be expected.
Not Dead Yet Episode VI
Not Dead Yet Episode V
Not Dead Yet Episode IV
Not Dead Yet Episode III
Not Dead Yet Episode II
Not Dead Yet Episode I
Health is hard.
Jesus Christ, that's rough. Glad you're feeling okay now. Maybe you should consider seeing a therapist when it's financially feasible if you want to get over the hemophobia? I mean it's up to you obviously, but it might help
ReplyDeleteAlso just wanna add that I have no idea what I'm talking about so disregard if I'm overstepping my bounds :P
DeleteIt's all good, I appreciate your concern and consideration :)
DeleteBut yeah your idea is sound and I might just do so eventually. This hemo-phobia is driving me crazy, and the black-outs are definitely more dangerous than I had originally thought.
Steph has the same issue but with needles. Her biggest struggle seems to be convincing my mom there is a difference between not liking needles and being phobic of them...
ReplyDeleteI hope that this was a one time occurrence.
Sorry to hear. That is unfortunate... The way I (now.) understand it, the key difference is control. One can not like something, but maintain when its around them. Where Phobia is involuntary reaction. I really didn't want to black out, I tried to recover and maintain. The result speaks for itself...
DeleteThanks, and ditto for sure. For what it's worth, my diagnosis is a minor concussion from hitting my head when blacked out. I'm getting an EEG to test and make sure there's nothing else. Otherwise, this should never happen again as long as I take precaution when blood is around. Physically or Verbally...